This morning, my agent, Vicki Eisenberg, submitted a book proposal for Taubman Sucks, The Book to three major publishers in New York City. (I'm not trying to be coy, Vicki asked me not to name the publishers.)
I should mention that it feels more than a little strange (and, somehow, more than a little pretentious) to refer to Vicki as "my agent." In fact, it feels strange to refer to anyone as "my agent." I've had two books published, but that was a long time ago, and in both of those cases the publishers approached me. This is the first time I've ever tried to sell a proposal, so it's the first time I've ever needed the services of a literary agent. (Both of my previous books are out of print, by the way, but you can probably track down used copies at Amazon.com. If you snap them up now, you should be able to sell them for huge profits on eBay once I become famous...)
I've known Vicki for many years, but as a friend rather than a literary agent. In fact, she hasn't worked as a full-time agent for some time, I had to coax her out of semi-retirement. (In a surprising and dramatic shift of lifestyle, she semi-abandoned the literary world a few years ago and went into the skatepark business.) When I told Vicki that I wanted to turn my TaubmanSucks.com saga into a book, she considered offering to represent me, but reluctantly passed me along to another agent instead. But when I found that agent to be less than responsive, I shamelessly begged Vicki to reconsider, which she graciously consented to do.
[By the way, Vicki has asked me to mention that that she's not accepting any more new clients. (I guess I'm so demanding that she doesn't want to take a chance on anyone else.) So please don't try to contact her or send her unsolicited proposals or manuscripts. Thanks for your understanding!]
We've spent the last few weeks polishing up my proposal – and finally, as you recall from the opening paragraph, it went out the door to three publishers this morning. The proposals should be on their desks when they return to work from the Memorial Day weekend, rested and eager to discover a promising new author.
I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.
Yes, I realize that the odds are stacked against me. Statistically speaking, Vicki probably won't be able to sell the book. And if she does manage to wrangle up a publisher for me, they may offer me such a pitifully small advance that it would barely be worth my time to undertake such an ambitious (and time-consuming) project.
On the other hand, Vicki may get me a fantastic contract and a fat advance, boosting me up into a far more desirable income bracket and changing my life forever.
Being an inveterate optimist (and having only a tenuous grasp of reality), I'm relatively certain that the rich-and-famous option is the one that's going to happen.
Want to see if I'm right? Come back and visit from time to time, I'll keep you up-to-date about what's going on.
Hank, This is sweet and there is even some truth to it. Vicki
Posted by: Vicki Eisenberg | May 26, 2005 at 11:13 PM
If this doesn't work out for you, my friend, I have some pals in the New Orleans world of voodun who can throw a hex on you. They'll have another large company screw you over for no apparent reason, and in blatant disregard of all laws of common sense. Then you can write a book about that. It's bound to catch on one of these days.
Bona fortuna.
Posted by: Andy Havens | May 30, 2005 at 09:45 PM
Good luck, Hank. A book project is always a risk, but that makes life fun, too.
Posted by: Eric Eggertson | May 30, 2005 at 09:52 PM
Bloody brilliant! Laughed, and LAUGHED till I cried!
Posted by: Graham Kelly CEO | May 31, 2005 at 04:03 AM
Totally cool! Long live the cybergriper!
Posted by: sean heeger | May 31, 2005 at 06:16 AM
Good show Hank. You should also take a look at theredcouch too. They are blogging about a book they are writing. This will give you insight on what to blog or not to blog.
Posted by: /pd | May 31, 2005 at 06:45 AM
Remember, when it is time to thank people, that I was one of the first hundred or so to tell you that your story was so interesting, that you needed to write a book! Good luck with the proposal. I am waiting to see this make The New York Times's Best Sellers list! Go Hank!
Posted by: Leslie | May 31, 2005 at 11:40 PM
Hank,
I hope the book deal works out for you, and you make millions.
Love the fact that the little guy sticking up for himself actually won one for a change.
Here's to you, kid.
JD
Posted by: JD | June 03, 2005 at 11:28 AM
Hey, I'D read it!
Posted by: laprincessa | June 03, 2005 at 10:56 PM
Hank-
What fun!
Try to consciously remember the steps you're taking both with the book and the case. I promise that your current experience will be valuable in the future as you travel life's pathways.
Go man, GO!
Posted by: Robb | August 28, 2005 at 07:56 AM
Good for you! What I learned is you almost can't defend yourself unless your an attorney, only way you can know what the judges want. I stayed up late last night reading this- I couldn't stop reading. And the part that really made me laugh was when you posted the pictures of those 2 lawyers!!!!!!!
Good for you!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Martha Youngblood | August 01, 2006 at 02:05 PM